


Seeing You

by calie15



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Developing Relationship, F/M, One Shot, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-25
Updated: 2014-04-25
Packaged: 2018-01-20 17:11:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1518626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calie15/pseuds/calie15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky had noticed Jemma for a while now, but his lack of people skills has made it impossible to talk to her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seeing You

Bucky had gone to SHIELD because of Steve. It had taken time. It had taken a slow recovery of memories and pressure from an old friend to get him there, but in the end it had been his only real option. Fifty years of mind wiping didn't make for an easy recovery. It had been time to let the professionals get his head straight. He'd become tired of feeling like a psychotic serial killer as the memories started to return. Two lives. A happy one and then another filled with murder.

Going to SHIELD had been his best and only option and Bucky had slowly come to terms with working for them. He needed something, and being able to go out and beat the shit out of bad guys was sometimes that something he needed. His therapist said in so many words he liked killing people. It was kind of true. Bucky didn't want to see people hurt, he genuinely wanted to help people. But he was pretty sure he got more pleasure out of putting a bullet in a head or gutting the bad guy then Steve did. Some things just couldn't be undone. 

Steve said to him one day, 'People are saying you don't mind getting your hands dirty.'

Bucky had been unable to deny it. Steve worried, Bucky was troubled by it in the least.

In fact, Bucky was okay with a lot of things lately. 

What he wasn't okay with, what he hadn't expected, was to be staring across the helicarrier at one dirty, tired, but safe scientist. The mission was rescue two kidnapped scientist taken by HYDRA agents. Bucky hadn't realized who it was until her picture stared back at him from the folder.

He didn't know her very well. She'd caught his eye when he'd passed the lab one day at three in the morning. Ever sense then he'd noticed her. 

And he noticed her now. She was turned towards the man at her side, whispering with him. They were together often, and when she'd seen him after the rescue she'd cried and hugged him. Bucky didn't think it was anything more then friendship, but he couldn't lie to himself and say he didn't feel uncomfortable at the emotional display. 

Now the two of them were calm, at least calmer then usual. 

Eventually, silence came over them and she stared off into what seemed nothing. Bucky kept his head back, resting it against the wall, eyes hooded, but he watched her. He told himself it was because there was nothing more interesting to look at. That was probably a lie.

Then her head turned suddenly and she was looking straight at him. It was dark, and he didn't think she could tell his eyes were glued to her. She looked away again and pursed her lips nervously. Then suddenly she unstrapped herself from her seat and walked carefully until she was standing directly in front of him. Then Bucky did open his eyes and look up at her.

"Do you mind if I sit?"

Bucky shook his head and watched her sit down on the floor.

"Thank you, for rescuing me."

He'd heard her speak before, but never so up close. "It wasn't just me," he responded, brushing her thanks aside. She opened her mouth and paused. He could tell his brush off had shaken her for a moment. A part of him regretted it.

"Yes, of course, but I was thinking more specifically of you finding me."

He looked away from her for a moment. He wasn't used to this much attention. Most conversations he had were strictly business. And no one ever thanked him for saving their life.

"If you hadn't gotten there..."

Bucky flickered his eyes over at her nervously and away again. Missions were easier, killing was easier. Realizing that you developed one sided feelings for a woman you don't even know and then having to sit there as she thanked you was misery. Knowing that he'd gone off on his own to recover her was even more troubling. They had found Agent Fitz soon enough, but it hadn't taken long to realize that HYDRA still had hopes of making an escape with one scientist. Bucky had found her being drug along, kicking and screaming. He'd made easy work of her three captors.

Even if deep down he knew that if he hadn't gone directly for her she wouldn't be sitting next to him right now, Bucky still couldn't deal with her being so grateful to him. "It's fine."

She seemed to think over her words, then slowly smiled. "I know it's your job, but thanks anyway."

It was the 'only your job' part that actually hurt. As much as Bucky wanted to ignore whatever attraction he had to this woman, a part of him hurt at the thought that she thought it was nothing else then an order on paper. He almost wanted her to know she was more important then that. Almost.

She flattened her palms on the ground then and started to push up. Bucky reluctantly looked at her, and just as she had one leg bent, foot on the ground to stand, she turned to face him.

"My name is Jemma. Simmons."

He knew that, and he figured she knew that also. Bucky had been part of the team assembled to find her. You don't go into that situation without knowing who you were looking for. She'd introduced herself anyway, and he could recognize she was trying to reach out in some way. "Bucky Barnes," he responded, feeling slightly foolish. She let out a small laugh.

"Oh I know. Everyone knows who you are. And I know you work in the same building as me, but most of your time is spend in the training rooms, or...shooting things." 

Her mouth parted suddenly and her eyes widened, almost as if she was shocked by what she had said, which was fine, because he was still trying to register the fact that she had actually noticed him or anything he did. He stared at her now, not even realizing the look of confusion on his face that made her even more uncomfortable. 

"But that's okay," she rushed out, "because I spend most of my time in the lab, and-."

"I know," he blurted out stupidly, and she stopped to look at him with wide eyes that bore into him. It was embarrassing is what it was. He'd been able to go in there, put three bullets straight into the head of her captors without a problem. Neat and done. He'd extracted her from the building without fumbling, without embarrassment. Now he sounded like an idiot. 

His memories before HYDRA were still coming back, but he remembered being good with women then. He remembered being VERY good with women. The situation he found himself in now was stupid and pathetic from old Bucky's standpoint. It might have been laughable if it wasn't the product of fifty years of no real human contact, mind wiping, and killing.

"Well," she said, seeming to have recovered and smiled again, "maybe we'll run into each other next time."

Bucky wasn't sure if he was supposed to respond, but she didn't seem to expect any words in return, because she didn't hesitate as she stood. As she passed him she looked down, friendly smile still on her face. 

He watched her take her seat again. Agent Fitz spoke immediately, whispering rather intently, face full of concern. Bucky averted his eyes and for the rest of the flight he stared straight ahead. Looking at her now would have been obvious.  
~~~~~~~~~~~

Two days later, she looked up from a desk in her lab, stared through the window, and smiled at him.


End file.
